Good morning fellow travelers on this small spinning rock!
It’s me again, back with more hot takes and cool updates from Oakland, CA and Day 8 of Shelter in Place. Remember to like and subscribe in the comments section. Just kidding. Wouldn’t that be funny, though?
Okay, today I’ve been thinking about the two voices in my head. Don’t worry, it’s actually much more than two, but recently these two have been the loudest.
First, there’s the voice that you might recognize if you’ve been unfortunate enough to cross a street with me. For those who haven’t, I have this fun involuntary reaction where I just start muttering “Oh god, this is how it ends, oh god, I’m too young for this,” until we reach the other sidewalk. (I want to reiterate that I was NOT raised in a city, and my typical strategy for crossing roads is to wait until there are no cars in sight and then walk.)
Anyway, that’s voice number one. It’s been screaming for a little while now. It particularly likes the following phrase: “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.” So, that’s fun.
The second voice is a bit calmer, although equally untrustworthy. It’s the voice I listen to when I’m sailing that beautiful barge on the river of denial. It’s the one that encourages me to take a nap in the middle of a burning building. Here’s what it has to say (in kind of a mellow, stoner voice), “Hey, man, it’s all going to be okay. I bet this is just a fluke. Things are going to go back to exactly how they were before probably, like, tomorrow, man. So just chill out.”
So, those are the two voices. Neither one is particularly helpful for obvious reasons. Voice #1 while on the outset semi-accurate – we are all going to die eventually – drives me to shut down completely. Voice #2 while somewhat less intense, doesn’t acknowledge the reality of the situation. Vacillating between the two, on this strange internal roller coaster, I’m attempting to find a middle ground.
Looking for a voice that’s sort of Ian McKellen from the Lord of the Rings. A voice that repeats, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
I’ll get there.
Thank you as always for reading!