It’s getting down there. I have about a week remaining until I depart for Idaho. Today we moved out most of the apartment furniture and thanks to the divine nature of the Oakland sidewalks, most of it has been taken off to a new home.
I, too, am in search of a new home.
Home has always been something of an uncertainty for me. I never truly felt at home in Indiana. Even before I came out, I was always on the lookout for other places to be. Real places like Egypt or the U.K. or fictional places like Middle Earth. Like Luke Skywalker, my thoughts were always on the horizon.
Indiana didn’t seem to be the right place for me. Or I wasn’t the right person for it.
I spent four years in Minnesota, staying and working through every summer break (and one winter break), and although I found it a refreshing change, I still couldn’t imagine it as the place I would stay forever.
Of course, I eventually realized that no place is going to grant me a sense of belonging. I will only feel at home when I have a home within myself. But I’m still looking for a place that will foster that discovery. I think some places it is easier for me to be who I am. Other places it raises more questions or stares or harassment.
It’s a work in progress. I have no idea if Idaho will be the right place for me. I have some hope that Moscow and the University will provide some sort of community, but given the way this year has gone so far, I am in no way certain.
I’ve been encouraged to realize, though, in all my travels, that I am capable of making a community wherever I wind up. I seem to find amazing life-changing people everywhere I go. And I’m certain that there are amazing people to be found in Idaho.
So, while I’m sad to say good-bye to Oakland, I am looking forward to the chance to build a new community and maybe move just a little bit closer to finding my home.
All the love,